For me, Spider-Man has an expiration date. From 1962 to sometime in the late 1980s.

These are the magic years for me. The ones covering my initial discovery of the character; the books I read growing up.

By the time this holiday collection of Spidey and his amazing friends and family emerged, I’d ceased to read any of his titles. It wouldn’t be until Brian Michael Bendis created the Ultimate Spider-Man would I return. That was still years away.

After meandering through that lead, I’ll say it’s an okay read. The Holiday Special. Sure, there are some plot devices that baffle me. With little background after five or six years away many things had happened. Especially the Clone Saga that seeped into some of the stories.

Black Cat and Venom’s popularity are in evidence as each star in their own story. Aunt May – who is dead (?) at this point – guides former beau Willie Lumpkin to romance.

But, the shortcomings are forgiven with “Merry Christmas, Mr. Storm.” The final tale told, it’s touching and sweet as the new Spider-Man (?) meets the Human Torch for their annual gift exchange atop the Statue of Liberty Christmas morning.

Sholly Fisch crafted a flashback to stir memories of Spider-Man in his younger days. The sequence is bookended in the current Spider-Man timeline, again, hearkening back to the clone era. Actually, the clone storyline is the basis for the story.

As stated, the remainder of the book is dedicated to some sappy storytelling with “A Matter of Faith,” “The Venom Claus,” “The Cat Who Stole Christmas” and “Companions.”

Marvel’s holiday card, circa 2010.

A one-shot of mistaken identity, revenge and redemption in a short 33 pages.

Everybody loves Halloween. Well, almost everybody. For instance, not Spider-Man. Spider-Man and semi-sober friends caring for their very drunk friends.

An amusing story as told by Bill Hader and Seth Meyers. Yes, that Seth Meyers: comedian, writer, political commentator, actor and TV host.

And, yes, that Bill Hader. Both are Saturday Night Alumni.

Kevin Maguire handled penciling chores. Yes, that Kevin Maguire. His resume is too long to list here, but, trust me, if you aren’t familiar with the artist, take time to get acquainted.

Anyway, back to the story already in progress…

In New York City it’s hard to swing a dead cat without hitting a super hero. Or villain. Halloween multiplies the meta population as the citizens emulate favorites. Normally not a problem, but this Halloween eve is plagued by at least one too many Spider-Men.

Rather than give too much away, go pick up a copy and enjoy some holiday hijinks Spidey style.

Spider-Man: The Short Halloween one-shot (2009)

Spider-Man: The Short Halloween hardcover (2009)

Baby, it’s cold outside. Cold enough to freeze the webbing in your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man’s web-shooters. Still, it’s two days before Christmas – in New York City – whatta ya expect?

This exothermic process will cause our hero problems later, but is foreshadowed several times before the big brouhaha.

As stated above, it’s just days before Christmas and Peter Parker is cash poor. Though gifted with the strength and agility of his name-sake, Peter just can’t catch a break. Crime is on the downside and he needs $99 for Aunt May’s Christmas gift.

No amount of web swinging bears fruit. He does mistake two well-meaning Santas for the Santa burglar. Spidey even assaults a father dressed as Saint Nick trying to impress his children.

The hapless hero finally seems to make good when he not only defeats the Chameleon – surprise villain – but is able to document the fight in photos. True to Parker luck there’s no one to pay him for his photos and Peter is back to square one.

He finally realizes it’s not the dollar amount attached to the gift, but the heart strings. In a Christmas miracle even JJJ comes through.

Marvel Adventures is an all-ages imprint formally published under Marvel Age. The stories are one-and-done rather than multi-issue arcs. The imprint ran from 2005 to 2010 when it was rebooted as Marvel Adventures Spider-Man and Marvel Adventures Super Heroes. Each ended in 2012 to be retitled Ultimate Spider-Man and The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Super Heroes Adventures to dovetail with Disney XDs cartoon block.

Dallas is known for many things; the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, its football team, oil and cotton, a prime-time soap, but not New York superheroes.

That didn’t stop Marvel Comics Group and the Dallas Times Herald from offering at least five different adventures as give-aways.

America had just learned the answer to, “Who shot JR,” when the first of the lot was published. Most teamed Spider-Man with the Hulk, the latter still featured on his own television show. By the fourth venture creative heads decided to celebrate Christmas with Spidey trading quips and fisticuffs with his old foe the Kingpin.

A reluctant Peter Parker – who has never spent a Christmas with anyone, but Aunt May – is cajoled into acting as J. Jonah Jamison’s personal photographer for a dinner with billionaires.

The Kingpin, who didn’t receive an invitation, substitutes himself as the hired Santa. With his flunkies the Kingpin crashes the party taking all in attendance hostage. His asking price is $10 million per head.

Pre-dating the original Diehard movie, Peter slips away to trade casual clothes for his union suit. One-by-one he takes out the Kingpin’s hired help forcing a showdown between he and Kingpin.

In the end, it’s host Stanley Mudge who helps Spidey defeat Kingpin and save Christmas Eve – for his guests and Peter is who whisked back east in Mudge’s personal jet to spend Christmas day with Aunt May.

In addition to the first two team ups with the Hulk, Spidey found himself in search if the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and in one final adventure with his Amazing Friends, Iceman and Firestar.

No figures can be found to see if the promotions boosted sales, but by the Dec. 8, 1991, the Times Herald shut its doors. Assets were bought the next day for $55 million and dispersed.

Spider-Man: Christmas in Dallas

Spider-Man: Christmas in Dallas (original cover art by Marie Severin)

 

Darwyn Cooke turned in what has become a festive favorite for Christmas 2003.

Under the appropriately named Tangled Web imprint, Spider-Man shares the title with no less than the Fantastic Four and Medusa and Crystal from the Inhumans.

When a snowstorm shuts the city down on Christmas Eve, Spidey indulges in a seasonal sulk when Mary Jane is stranded in Philadelphia. Rescuing a busload of orphans alleviates some of the self-pity.

J. Jonah Jameson is none too thrilled to learn Peter Parker has spent the Bugle’s money on Spider-Man action figures and even less so when he learned his freelance photographer had forgotten the gift for Jameson’s wife.

In the meantime, Sue Storm, Jane VanDyne and Crystal’s shopping trip is interrupted by a robbery at Macey’s. Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four appear for a confusing slugfest culminating in a happy ending for all but the Puppet Master who masterminded the crime.

Cooke is best known for deconstructing the comic books he grew up with including the bridge between the Golden and Silver Age of comics, New Frontier, in 2004.

 

Thanks to our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, we have one less criminal roaming the streets of Whoville tonight.  Artwork by Michael Delmundo.

 

Peter David authors “You Better Watch Out” and that’s all you need to know to pull this out of the back issue bins.

This is one of my favorite Spider-Man Christmas stories focusing more on Peter than Spidey as the title was originally designed to do. Just a step behind, poor Mr. Parker teeters on the periphery of the holidays until bottoming out sharing a Coke Classic with his costume.

When a department store Santa tries to burgle his shapely neighbors’ apartment Spidey saves Christmas Eve and the man of the hour saves Christmas by bagging the bad guy and ensuring Peter is at his aunt’s for Christmas breakfast.