Amazing Spider-Man 314

For those of you who don’t remember or weren’t there, this was written just prior to the comic book explosion spurred on by investors and companies only too happy to print more than demanded. This is 1988 and Todd McFarlane was still Marvel’s wunderkind.

Almost forgotten in the craze of hot illustrators is the fact many of the writers are at the top of their games as well. In this case David Michelinie penned “Down and Out in Forest Hill”s, taking the hero and not only running him up a tree, but then throwing rocks at him.

Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson had finally married and the curvaceous missus was one of the top models in the world. Marvel needed to bring the celebrity couple back to Earth. They did so with a story line that ran in Amazing Spider-Man 304-09 in which Mary Jane became the focus of unwanted intentions by a multi-millionaire stalker. Spider-Man thwarted his plans, but the couple are finding out – on Christmas Eve no less – his reach extends beyond prison.

Most of the issue is a self-imposed pity party for Peter Parker (beat that alliteration, Stan). The issue is resolved when he learns there are others in the world who should be thought of before himself.

Daredevil (1964) 169

By this point Frank Miller was firmly settled behind the wheel of Daredevil, engine thrumming down the road at 90, a high-performance talent revving on all cylinders popping in four-color drama with a telling blueprint for The Dark Knight Returns.

But, that is the future. For Christmas 1980 Bullseye’s escape shakes the snow globe mixing blood and madness with the faux snow.

Miller’s run on Daredevil is the precursor to Ronin and Hard Boiled leading to his masterpiece: Sin City. Too often overlooked in the Miller and comic book pantheon, issues 163-191 are too few, but allow a former minor hero to take center stage with the likes of Spider-Man and the X-Men.

Scooby-Doo Team-Up 21

Okay, I don’t know how this one slipped by me, but it was a wonderful after-Christmas surprise for the end of January.

Scooby-Doo has been a part of my life maybe as long as comic books. So, when you’ve got the patriarchs of the Bat Family fighting Harley Quinn and a guest appearance by the Joker, life is better than good.

Yeah, this one caught me off guard. There’s no mention of Christmas on the cover, but open the book and the festivities hit you over the head like Harley’s mallet.

Mystery Inc.’s search for the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future serve as the backdrop for this story that would be a welcome addition to anyone’s stocking.

Superman (1939) 166

Another case of false advertising. No holiday stories here, just a Christmas cover.

Hitting the stands about the time three shots rang out in Dealey Plaza, Superman 166 is an insipid blend of three “imaginary” stories, by products of Superman and Lois Lane’s marriage, that were a staple in the Man of Steel’s books through much of the Eisenhower era midway through the Vietnam War. DC had its hands tied with what was allowed in comic books courtesy of the CCA and a character who was able to spin the Earth backward if he wanted. To keep readers buying the book authors often crafted “what if” stories, many of them alternate timelines with Superman’s supporting cast in outlandish situations.

This Christmas comic comes with some baggage. Not too much, but readers may find themselves scratching their heads as Tony Stark/Iron Man conducts business this issue.

Good news is Taskmaster is the villain of the month, though he keeps a hands off approach to business.

The long and short, Iron Man 254 sports a nice cover, but a mediocre story and hackneyed ending.

Looney Tunes (1994) 97

Not since the Griswalds held their “…hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny (%*#&*) Kaye…” have the holidays seen as much carnage as “Wreck the Halls.”

The furry family of Henry (Pa), Mama and Junior Bear forego hibernation for the holidays. Traditional matters become trivial as Mama acts as the buffer between buffoonery and outright battle.

Tom and Jerry may have perfected animated violence, but the Three Bears provide the perfect protagonist without antagonist for this seasonal slapstick send up putting the fun in dysfunctional

“Lord of the Dance” is Garth Ennis’ two-fingered salute to the holidays.

It’s also a brief history of Christmas, or the structured celebration that became known as Christmas. The Lord of the Dance harkens to the days when Saturnalia was a ribald revelry replete with song, dance, drink, sex and many other pleasures before the pious made them vices.

Yet Constantine greases the doors to the past with alcohol for one more night of celebration.

Spectacular Spider-Man 173

“Creatures Stirring,” the title of this tale, showcases Gerry Conway and David Michelinie’s writing talents in celebration of the Christmas season.

Longtime nemesis Doctor Octopus returns seeking human kindness from – in his own words – the only woman who has ever shown him kindness: May Parker.

Also en route to join festivities already in progress at the family homestead is Peter Parker, laden with gifts. Along the way, the weary Web-Head detours long enough to stop a street Santa mugging and the Daily Bugle for the annual Christmas party.

An impromptu altercation at the latter puts Peter in a bad mood, meaning his eventual meeting with Doc Ock proves a misunderstanding resulting in the obligatory punch up.

That is interrupted by the appearance of Aunt May and Mary Jane. The kindly doctor makes his apologies and departs leaving Spider-Man to ponder, aloud, if there are any heroes of villains on Christmas Eve.

Wolverine 49 (2003)

Wolverine out Bruce Willis’ breakout character John McClane in this semi-cloned Christmas Eve story. The only thing missing is the “Yippy ki-yi-yah (explicative deleted).”

While I say this is a re-imagining of a classic action movie, “Better to Give…” is much more. Like Uncanny X-Men 143, the similarities between comic book and movie are laid bare early on and, in this case, Rob Williams makes no apologies. Nor should he.

The juxtaposition of a character with more red ink on his hands than a copier repair man – on a mission of mercy for team mate Kitty Pryde – on the cusp of Christmas in a crowded New York department store is, well…Wolverine says it best.

“I’m the best at what I do.

“But what I do best…

…isn’t shopping.”

Williams swipes from master Wolverine scribe Chris Claremont, but who hasn’t? Plus, the line works perfectly.

If looking for a stocking stuffer for the tougher-to-shop for, this is the one. Even the cover oozes menace.